So I took my mom to see the place in Orange today. She was in a good mood when I went to pick her up and we had a fun drive up. When we got there - we took a look around and it seemed to be going well. As we near the dining room, they are rounding up the patients in the assisted living part of the facility who need help to the dining room (she will be in the independent living part). My mom makes a comment to me that everyone seems so old. I assure her that they are in a different part of the facility and need help to get to the dining room. We got to the dining room and were shown the menu calendar and my mom makes the comment about how she likes to make all her own meals. I, of course, tell her how nice it will be that she won't have to cook for herself. And it's not like we haven't been through all this before! So we sit down in the private dining room for our meal and we are left alone for a few moments so I ask her what she thinks - she says she doesn't like it - she wants to be able to go on her walks and make her own meals - I try to assure her that it will all be ok and to give it a chance. The meal was good and we have a nice chat with the Resident Director. We assure her that she can still go out for her walks - she just needs to sign in and out when she does - and that there are several people that walk - so she can see about walking with some of them. So we finish up lunch - pick up some paperwork and leave.
When we get to the car - I ask my mom her thoughts - and she makes another comment about not being able to cook her own meals - and all I could think was - putting a TV dinner in the microwave is NOT cooking your own meals - and then she indicated that she didn't think she needed as much care as this place was giving - as she is trying to wrap the seatbelt around her neck because she can't figure out how it works! God Bless Her! It just makes me laugh. So I told her that it would really make me feel better to know that she is in a place that has that kind of support. She seemed the most concerned about her walks - so we drove around the neighborhood so she could see that it was a nice neighborhood and she could walk around there - just what I want her doing - walking around a neighborhood she isn't familiar with!
So on the way home I worked on convincing her that it was the best thing for her - she talked about how she would adjust and how the place she is in has just gone downhill since they've taken the chairs out of the lobby so she and her friends can't sit there anymore. Of course, by tomorrow she may decide that she isn't going to move. At one point on the way home - she asked if John was going to move her - and I told her no - my friends and I were - then she asked "Should we tell him I'm moving?" Go Mom! I told her that it was up to her whether she wanted to tell him or not. So while we were talking, she told me about when my Aunt Jean was here they went to see John - and instead of meeting at John's house, they went to this park - which was good since Luke could run around. She had no recollection that I was there. God Bless Her!
Anyway - Family Fun Night went great tonight - we had a great crowd and the astronomy evening seemed to go well. And looking at the moon from the telescope they brought - VERY COOL! Enough for now - going to bed.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I Found It!
The place where I want to move my mom - well, not really want - am going to move my mom - I'll let her think she has a say - but this it... a little more about "it" in a moment - first for the backstory. Well, some of the backstory...
Back in June, I went looking for some places for my mom to live - had gotten some referrals and went to check some of them out - I actually blogged about it on June 30th if you would like to check out the archives. One of the places that I liked was in Fountain Valley. I prefered the larger facilities to the board and care homes for right now since my mom likes to be social and hang out with lots of people right now. Back in June - I wasn't sure how much we could afford since some funding I was hoping to get didn't quite pan out - ask me later if you would like the full story - I'd be more than happy to tell you about it. Anyway... I sat on the information until this last week - I kept telling everyone to start bugging me after the new year to get my act in gear and get my mom moved. Thanks everyone for checking on me - and B, thanks for calling on Monday night!
So I called the Fountain Valley place on Monday and left a message for the administrator - she called me back and we set up an appointment on Tuesday at 9:30am to look and go over some of the numbers. So I take off work on Tuesday morning, get to the place around 9:25am and she isn't there yet - that's fine - I'm early. So I sit and wait.... and wait... and wait. It did give me a chance to observe some activities that were going on with the residents. But when she still wasn't there at 9:50am, I was a bit frustrated (to put it nicely). So I walked up to find out what was going on - nobody seemed to know where she was - it didn't seem like anyone was making the effort to call her. So the manager started taking some information from me and then she had to leave - so they had another assistant finish the info and then showed me a room - I wasn't as happy with the room she showed me as I was with the ones that I had seen before - I just didn't get the same warm fuzzy feeling that I had before - but compared to some of the places I had investigated - this place was within our limited price range. So after looking at the room we are standing there and the assistant looks at me like I'm supposed to know what to do next. Which, of course, I don't - so I tell her that - "I'm new to this and I don't know what I'm doing" - I told her I wanted some pricing info, so she gave me a pricing sheet and I went on my not so merry little way. It just didn't go well - any of it. By the time I got back to work - the adminstrator I was supposed to meet with had left a message - "Sorry I missed you - go ahead and call me back..." Haven't called her back yet - although she did leave me another message today saying that she hoped my mom was ok because they told her I had an emergency with my mom and that's why I had to leave - not sure where they got that info from - like I said - none of it went well. But it did get me to call some of the other places on the list - so I guess there was a reason it all went so badly.
So on Tuesday night after a church meeting - I did a drive by of these two other places - one in Santa Ana and the other in Orange. Drove by Santa Ana first and thought - uhhh... no. Then I drove by the place in Orange - and it's down this residential street and I'm thinking - it's dark - will I be able to spot it - the Santa Ana place wasn't very well marked and I'm not sure what to look for with this place when - wham - there it was nice big well lit sign! So Wednesday I called and made an appointment for this morning.
So I got there and the woman was ready for me - she had a packet of information ready - and we started talking about what my mom would need and then started looking at the pricing info - when she pulled out the pricing sheet my heart sank - $1800 was the lowest price on there - I know we couldn't afford that. But that was for a private studio - I asked her if they had any shared rooms - she said they have Jack and Jill rooms (for those of you that don't know what they are - two rooms connected by a bathroom). And she has one downstairs for $1200 - I almost started to cry - she can have her own room and only pay $1200 for it (the other place was $1250 for a shared room - much like a hotel room). But it gets even better - not only does she get three meals a day - but medication monitoring is a included (it was a $200 add on at the other place). So she showed me the room - not huge - but my mom will be able to take more with her than "the other place". She showed me the facility and it just had a much more warm and fuzzy feeling to it - it was it. So I put a deposit on it to hold it for two weeks - which is refundable if we decide not to take it - which I can't imagine happening. I made an appointment for this Saturday to show my mom - and we will enjoy lunch up there - oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots and cream puffs! When we are there - they will also do an assessment of her to make sure that she doesn't need more care than I have said - that is my only concern - that they will decide the dementia is too advanced to put her in the indepent living area - but she really isn't ready for the more assisted living area. So if it all goes well on Saturday - I'm looking to move her the first part of February. I talked to her about it tonight and she said she is ready to move - especially since they have taken the chairs out of the lobby (yes, mom, I know). Of course, tomorrow she may decided that she doesn't want to move - but I think that once she sees this place she will like it - especially if she can have her own room!
A friend at work was telling me months ago when I was talking about moving my mom and trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it, that there had to be a diamond in the rough out there somewhere - this is definitely it! Thank you, Lord!
Back in June, I went looking for some places for my mom to live - had gotten some referrals and went to check some of them out - I actually blogged about it on June 30th if you would like to check out the archives. One of the places that I liked was in Fountain Valley. I prefered the larger facilities to the board and care homes for right now since my mom likes to be social and hang out with lots of people right now. Back in June - I wasn't sure how much we could afford since some funding I was hoping to get didn't quite pan out - ask me later if you would like the full story - I'd be more than happy to tell you about it. Anyway... I sat on the information until this last week - I kept telling everyone to start bugging me after the new year to get my act in gear and get my mom moved. Thanks everyone for checking on me - and B, thanks for calling on Monday night!
So I called the Fountain Valley place on Monday and left a message for the administrator - she called me back and we set up an appointment on Tuesday at 9:30am to look and go over some of the numbers. So I take off work on Tuesday morning, get to the place around 9:25am and she isn't there yet - that's fine - I'm early. So I sit and wait.... and wait... and wait. It did give me a chance to observe some activities that were going on with the residents. But when she still wasn't there at 9:50am, I was a bit frustrated (to put it nicely). So I walked up to find out what was going on - nobody seemed to know where she was - it didn't seem like anyone was making the effort to call her. So the manager started taking some information from me and then she had to leave - so they had another assistant finish the info and then showed me a room - I wasn't as happy with the room she showed me as I was with the ones that I had seen before - I just didn't get the same warm fuzzy feeling that I had before - but compared to some of the places I had investigated - this place was within our limited price range. So after looking at the room we are standing there and the assistant looks at me like I'm supposed to know what to do next. Which, of course, I don't - so I tell her that - "I'm new to this and I don't know what I'm doing" - I told her I wanted some pricing info, so she gave me a pricing sheet and I went on my not so merry little way. It just didn't go well - any of it. By the time I got back to work - the adminstrator I was supposed to meet with had left a message - "Sorry I missed you - go ahead and call me back..." Haven't called her back yet - although she did leave me another message today saying that she hoped my mom was ok because they told her I had an emergency with my mom and that's why I had to leave - not sure where they got that info from - like I said - none of it went well. But it did get me to call some of the other places on the list - so I guess there was a reason it all went so badly.
So on Tuesday night after a church meeting - I did a drive by of these two other places - one in Santa Ana and the other in Orange. Drove by Santa Ana first and thought - uhhh... no. Then I drove by the place in Orange - and it's down this residential street and I'm thinking - it's dark - will I be able to spot it - the Santa Ana place wasn't very well marked and I'm not sure what to look for with this place when - wham - there it was nice big well lit sign! So Wednesday I called and made an appointment for this morning.
So I got there and the woman was ready for me - she had a packet of information ready - and we started talking about what my mom would need and then started looking at the pricing info - when she pulled out the pricing sheet my heart sank - $1800 was the lowest price on there - I know we couldn't afford that. But that was for a private studio - I asked her if they had any shared rooms - she said they have Jack and Jill rooms (for those of you that don't know what they are - two rooms connected by a bathroom). And she has one downstairs for $1200 - I almost started to cry - she can have her own room and only pay $1200 for it (the other place was $1250 for a shared room - much like a hotel room). But it gets even better - not only does she get three meals a day - but medication monitoring is a included (it was a $200 add on at the other place). So she showed me the room - not huge - but my mom will be able to take more with her than "the other place". She showed me the facility and it just had a much more warm and fuzzy feeling to it - it was it. So I put a deposit on it to hold it for two weeks - which is refundable if we decide not to take it - which I can't imagine happening. I made an appointment for this Saturday to show my mom - and we will enjoy lunch up there - oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots and cream puffs! When we are there - they will also do an assessment of her to make sure that she doesn't need more care than I have said - that is my only concern - that they will decide the dementia is too advanced to put her in the indepent living area - but she really isn't ready for the more assisted living area. So if it all goes well on Saturday - I'm looking to move her the first part of February. I talked to her about it tonight and she said she is ready to move - especially since they have taken the chairs out of the lobby (yes, mom, I know). Of course, tomorrow she may decided that she doesn't want to move - but I think that once she sees this place she will like it - especially if she can have her own room!
A friend at work was telling me months ago when I was talking about moving my mom and trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it, that there had to be a diamond in the rough out there somewhere - this is definitely it! Thank you, Lord!
Monday, January 7, 2008
What Were You Thinking?
So I stopped by my mom's this morning - as has become habit to make sure she takes her medication - which she had today - yeah for her! And she is a bit upset - she lost her keys - AGAIN! She tells me they were downstairs and someone picked them up - can't exactly figure out what she is talking about - so I start thinking - well - she had to get back into her locked apartment so I asked her - very nicely... How were you able to get back into the apartment if it was locked - did the manager let you in? And she stops and starts thinking for a bit and tells me - I must not have locked it - at which point I want to say (but don't)...
Why did you bring your keys if you weren't going to lock your door?
What were you doing leaving your keys out where someone could take them?
What were you thinking?
Are you crazy? - God Help Me!
I looked and looked - and still think they must be somewhere in her apartment - but couldn't find them in all the usual spots - I know - she has Alzheimer's - I should look in all the unusual spots - but had to get to work. So I made an extra set after work and got a keychain that she can put around her wrist. She also had to let me know that she lost her laundry card - at least I found a couple more pads of checks - so she shouldn't be bugging me about those for a while! God Bless Her!
Why did you bring your keys if you weren't going to lock your door?
What were you doing leaving your keys out where someone could take them?
What were you thinking?
Are you crazy? - God Help Me!
I looked and looked - and still think they must be somewhere in her apartment - but couldn't find them in all the usual spots - I know - she has Alzheimer's - I should look in all the unusual spots - but had to get to work. So I made an extra set after work and got a keychain that she can put around her wrist. She also had to let me know that she lost her laundry card - at least I found a couple more pads of checks - so she shouldn't be bugging me about those for a while! God Bless Her!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Obessions
My aunt left today after visiting with my mom and I over New Year's and I cried after I dropped her off at the airport. She and my mom seemed to have such a nice visit - and I really enjoyed the visit also - even though I slept on the couch (and Brandy, you were right - the cat did sleep with me). We had such a good time the last several days - I was sad to see her leave. The only downside is the reminder of how my mom used to be - I want my mom back and this week, I'm really struggling with that.
I've had some time to really reflect on the year and count my blessings - and I certainly have many. I am tremendously blessed with an amazing group of friends that I know love and support me no matter what. But the year has been bittersweet also, as I've watched my mom slowly get worse. But even as bad as it gets - I know that the Lord is always watching over me (even when I have angry conversations with him - hey - at least I'm talking to him - right?!) and I know my friends will always be there for me - God bless all of you!
Enough melancholoy - I have to laugh a little - this posting is beginning to sound a little like those Christmas newsletters that you get from people that tell you about all of the diseases or loss of life or family problems they go through during the year - let me fix that by including a list...
A list of my mom's latest obessions:
The birds - you know they go one way in the morning and the other way at night
Checks - she only has one check left - and it's for the rent - it would help if she would put her checks in her checkbook correctly and not stuff all but one into the sleeve
Money - how can she buy any groceries if I don't give her any money - I told her I would give her money and I never did - shame on me - I'm so terrible won't order her checks either (she was surprised to see the $80 I found stashed in an envelope in her dresser)
Her tooth - actually this hasn't been much of an obsession - don't really hear about it much anymore - she has so many new obsessions to worry about!
One last story - her doctor signed a handicap placard application recently and she asked what the paper was and I told her it was the application and that I was getting a handicap placard for her and she says to me 'How long am I going to be handicapped?'! God Bless Her. And Happy New Year!
I've had some time to really reflect on the year and count my blessings - and I certainly have many. I am tremendously blessed with an amazing group of friends that I know love and support me no matter what. But the year has been bittersweet also, as I've watched my mom slowly get worse. But even as bad as it gets - I know that the Lord is always watching over me (even when I have angry conversations with him - hey - at least I'm talking to him - right?!) and I know my friends will always be there for me - God bless all of you!
Enough melancholoy - I have to laugh a little - this posting is beginning to sound a little like those Christmas newsletters that you get from people that tell you about all of the diseases or loss of life or family problems they go through during the year - let me fix that by including a list...
A list of my mom's latest obessions:
The birds - you know they go one way in the morning and the other way at night
Checks - she only has one check left - and it's for the rent - it would help if she would put her checks in her checkbook correctly and not stuff all but one into the sleeve
Money - how can she buy any groceries if I don't give her any money - I told her I would give her money and I never did - shame on me - I'm so terrible won't order her checks either (she was surprised to see the $80 I found stashed in an envelope in her dresser)
Her keys - she lost them one day and that was all she could talk about - of course the next day we were talking about making new keys and she says to my Aunt - 'You lost your keys?' - no mom, you lost yours - we found them
The chairs in the lobby - you know they took the chairs out of the lobby that she and her friends used to sit on and she just doesn't understand why (truthfully, I'm not sure either) - but she has remedied that by bringing her lawn chair down to the lobby to wait for the mail! Go Mom!Her tooth - actually this hasn't been much of an obsession - don't really hear about it much anymore - she has so many new obsessions to worry about!
One last story - her doctor signed a handicap placard application recently and she asked what the paper was and I told her it was the application and that I was getting a handicap placard for her and she says to me 'How long am I going to be handicapped?'! God Bless Her. And Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
All Dressed Up
When I went by my mom's yesterday to refill her medication, I told her that I would come by on Christmas Eve and pick her up for church. We talked about what day it was and when Christmas Eve was and some doctor appointments that are coming up on her calendar. She has decided that she doesn't want to use her day by day calendar anymore - so I truly have no idea how she keeps up with what day it is - actually, I do know - she just doesn't keep up - as was evidenced by the phone call I got this evening. About 7:45pm tonight she called and wondered when I was going to pick her up for church - she thought it was tonight and told me she had gotten all dressed up and was waiting for me. God Bless Her! It's enough to make me want to cry. But I'm not going to - at least not tonight - going to go to bed (and B - I never made it out to run my errands - sat on the couch and watched TV instead!). Goodnight.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
A Few Old Stories...
So before Thanksgiving - I went to Las Vegas to see Kris play in a softball tournament - where her team won the tourney - the hard way :) - and she was selected for the All Tourney Team - or something like that - a very cool thing! Now, remember, this was Before Thanksgiving - we are landing in Las Vegas and as we are flying over this neighborhood near the airport - there was an entire part of it that had massive Christmas decorations and lights on display - that is WAY too early!
So on the trip home - we are waiting in the airport for the plane and we hear this clicking noise - we look over and this woman is clipping her toenails there in the waiting area - Disgusting! Ick!
A few more stories... The puppets performed in church recently - and I wish I could have seen the kids - I hear they were just enthralled by it all - a shout out to my puppeteers! Great Job! There were three of us in the back and when we finished and were waiting for the best time to walk out - I told them thanks and that it went really well and Lynne says "Yeah - and they (the congregation) laughed at all the appropriate times!" And one of my favorite comments from people was - we never saw you go to the back of the stage or leave - pay no attention to the man (or in this case three of us) behind the curtain!
A few Saturdays ago, Terrie and I were doing arts and crafts in the choir room and the kids for the Christmas pageant started showing up for their dress rehearsal. One of the little boys (probably about 3 or 4) was standing near me when his mom took out his shepherd costume to show him and he got this great big smile on his face and said "I'm going to be a handsome shepherd" and indeed he was!
Last week, I broke down and bought Sadie this play ball that has holes in it with feathers in the middle and rope covering the outside and figured I would wrap it up for Christmas - yeah - I got it home and couldn't wait to give it to her - of course when I dropped it on the floor for her to play with - she was only interested in the cardboard tag that had the price on it! Should have known.
Enough for now - have some Christmas presents to attend to... Happy couple of days before Christmas!
So on the trip home - we are waiting in the airport for the plane and we hear this clicking noise - we look over and this woman is clipping her toenails there in the waiting area - Disgusting! Ick!
A few more stories... The puppets performed in church recently - and I wish I could have seen the kids - I hear they were just enthralled by it all - a shout out to my puppeteers! Great Job! There were three of us in the back and when we finished and were waiting for the best time to walk out - I told them thanks and that it went really well and Lynne says "Yeah - and they (the congregation) laughed at all the appropriate times!" And one of my favorite comments from people was - we never saw you go to the back of the stage or leave - pay no attention to the man (or in this case three of us) behind the curtain!
A few Saturdays ago, Terrie and I were doing arts and crafts in the choir room and the kids for the Christmas pageant started showing up for their dress rehearsal. One of the little boys (probably about 3 or 4) was standing near me when his mom took out his shepherd costume to show him and he got this great big smile on his face and said "I'm going to be a handsome shepherd" and indeed he was!
Last week, I broke down and bought Sadie this play ball that has holes in it with feathers in the middle and rope covering the outside and figured I would wrap it up for Christmas - yeah - I got it home and couldn't wait to give it to her - of course when I dropped it on the floor for her to play with - she was only interested in the cardboard tag that had the price on it! Should have known.
Enough for now - have some Christmas presents to attend to... Happy couple of days before Christmas!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Surprise!
Not that anyone is reading anymore - but in case you are - here are two Luke stories and a Sadie story...
My dad came to town last night and had dinner with me and John and his family. Well, Luke, the 4 year old was telling us about where Santa and the elves live - "Did you know that there is this white mountain next to the desert and that is the North Pole." He later stated that "Chris (the 16 year old) said he wants to be just like me." Out of the mouth of babes... or in this case... one rowdy little kid.
It was a nice evening - I had a good time at the end of the table chatting with Chris and Emilie (13 years old). And it was, of course, really nice to see my dad - he stayed with me - so my house got a quick cleaning - before the major cleaning that will have to take place before my Aunt comes a week from Saturday.
And now for the Sadie story... When my dad got up and left - I decided I would head out to the gym - and when I got home - I looked and looked for Sadie - couldn't find her in any of her usual spots - the quilt, the afghan, the window seat... so I'm standing between the living room and dining room and say out loud - "Where are you baby doll?" and she answered with a little murmer - she was in the cat tree! She was probably watching me the whole time I was looking around.
Enough for now - must get ready for work.
My dad came to town last night and had dinner with me and John and his family. Well, Luke, the 4 year old was telling us about where Santa and the elves live - "Did you know that there is this white mountain next to the desert and that is the North Pole." He later stated that "Chris (the 16 year old) said he wants to be just like me." Out of the mouth of babes... or in this case... one rowdy little kid.
It was a nice evening - I had a good time at the end of the table chatting with Chris and Emilie (13 years old). And it was, of course, really nice to see my dad - he stayed with me - so my house got a quick cleaning - before the major cleaning that will have to take place before my Aunt comes a week from Saturday.
And now for the Sadie story... When my dad got up and left - I decided I would head out to the gym - and when I got home - I looked and looked for Sadie - couldn't find her in any of her usual spots - the quilt, the afghan, the window seat... so I'm standing between the living room and dining room and say out loud - "Where are you baby doll?" and she answered with a little murmer - she was in the cat tree! She was probably watching me the whole time I was looking around.
Enough for now - must get ready for work.
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