Now that I've probably lost all of my readers - I just felt compelled to write tonight. My mom is all moved in to her new place and she just seems to love it. When I went by this evening after dinner - she was down the hall laughing and chatting with a bunch of her neighbors and they all seemed to be having a good time. Thank you, Lord.
So she came back to her room with me since I had brought her some things and clean laundry and I asked her if she had taken a shower yet. I found out a week or two ago that she has been been playing mother kitty in the sink and not actually taking a shower. So I decided that I would run the water and help her in and make sure that she took one. She shares the bathroom with her neighbor and there is a chair in the tub that her neighbor uses that my mom doesn't want to use - but she will sit on the ledge at the far end of the tub - go figure. So she gets into the shower and I hand her the shower head handle and she starts pointing it around the shower - up to the ceiling - at me - and can't quite figure out that she needs to point the water at herself! I'm now wet and trying to get the handle away from her! I finally do and just hold it above her so she doesn't have to worry about scrubbing and holding the handle! It was hilarious! I wasn't actually in the shower with her - but I may as well have been! God Bless Her!
She was also telling me about this one man that is really nice to her that she thinks is "Hot" - her word, not mine! She even joked about him being her boyfriend! As long as he isn't after her money - he will be in for quite the shock - there isn't any!
So I ended the night with a nice candlelight dinner of corned beef and cabbage at the Boys house - we ate by candlelight because their power went out! Luckily dinner had just finished. And it was yummy! As a kid - I would never touch the stuff - but now... mmmmmm!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
This Coffee Is Cold
I know it's been a while - and I didn't originally intend to write tonight - but am struggling this evening - so I thought a few good mom stories would make me feel better. Have been doing fine - as you all probably know - got my mom moved in this weekend to a place in Orange and she seems to really like it - my Aunt even called me after she had talked to my mom and told me how much my mom was enjoying the place after just a day. So why am I struggling - well I went by my mom's old apartment this evening to pick up a few things we forgot and I started cleaning a few things up and there were just memories there - memories of when my mom was truly my mom and then there was a box of pictures and then it was just all over after that... but before I get myself all boo-hooey again - enjoy some stories...
Before she moved, I was over packing some things up and just going through the dresser and my mom to keep herself occupied was washing some dishes - after she was done with the dishes, she decided she was going to wash the 4 dish towels since they were wet. So I started to gather a few other things she could wash so that she wasn't spending all that money just on the dish towels - so I go up to her and start to hand her the stuff I had and she said, "Are those things wet too?" And I told her no - but I thought she could go ahead and wash them to make a bigger load - she wouldn't take them - they weren't wet! I could not convince her to put the dry items in with the wet dish towels! Of course I've told this story to several people and they all said they would have just gone to the sink and made everything wet - I was just so stunned about the whole situation - didn't even think about it at the time!
So the first night she was in her new place, I stayed and had dinner with her. She asked for coffee and I asked for milk with dinner - well she wanted milk in her coffee - so I just put a few spoonfuls from my cup. A few minutes later she again said she needed milk in her coffee - so I put some more milk in her coffee. The third time she wanted milk for her coffee, she stopped the serving guy and started to ask him for milk and then noticed that I had milk and she said - "oh, she has milk" - well, not wanting to give up all my milk for her coffee, I asked him to bring her some milk. When he did, she poured about half the cup in her coffee. A few moments later she took a sip and said, "This coffee is cold." God Bless Her!
Before she moved, I was over packing some things up and just going through the dresser and my mom to keep herself occupied was washing some dishes - after she was done with the dishes, she decided she was going to wash the 4 dish towels since they were wet. So I started to gather a few other things she could wash so that she wasn't spending all that money just on the dish towels - so I go up to her and start to hand her the stuff I had and she said, "Are those things wet too?" And I told her no - but I thought she could go ahead and wash them to make a bigger load - she wouldn't take them - they weren't wet! I could not convince her to put the dry items in with the wet dish towels! Of course I've told this story to several people and they all said they would have just gone to the sink and made everything wet - I was just so stunned about the whole situation - didn't even think about it at the time!
So the first night she was in her new place, I stayed and had dinner with her. She asked for coffee and I asked for milk with dinner - well she wanted milk in her coffee - so I just put a few spoonfuls from my cup. A few minutes later she again said she needed milk in her coffee - so I put some more milk in her coffee. The third time she wanted milk for her coffee, she stopped the serving guy and started to ask him for milk and then noticed that I had milk and she said - "oh, she has milk" - well, not wanting to give up all my milk for her coffee, I asked him to bring her some milk. When he did, she poured about half the cup in her coffee. A few moments later she took a sip and said, "This coffee is cold." God Bless Her!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I've Got To Get To A Meeting...
Just a quick entry tonight - been sick the last two days so I don't have a lot of stories to tell - just me and the cat sleeping all day! Wasn't feeling well enough to go by my mom's yesterday - so I called her instead - she told me she had already taken her medication. Went by this morning and when I walked in the door, she said - I just took it. Told her I would be by over the weekend so we could start going through some stuff to get her ready to move - she still seemed ok with it.
So this evening I got up and took a shower since I thought it would make me feel better - it did. But before I got in the shower I stepped on the scale - haven't really felt like eating the last two days so I just thought I'd see what the scale said. I was down to 170 - my goal weight - and all I could think is - I've got to get to a meeting and weigh in tonight! :)
So this evening I got up and took a shower since I thought it would make me feel better - it did. But before I got in the shower I stepped on the scale - haven't really felt like eating the last two days so I just thought I'd see what the scale said. I was down to 170 - my goal weight - and all I could think is - I've got to get to a meeting and weigh in tonight! :)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Should We Tell...
So I took my mom to see the place in Orange today. She was in a good mood when I went to pick her up and we had a fun drive up. When we got there - we took a look around and it seemed to be going well. As we near the dining room, they are rounding up the patients in the assisted living part of the facility who need help to the dining room (she will be in the independent living part). My mom makes a comment to me that everyone seems so old. I assure her that they are in a different part of the facility and need help to get to the dining room. We got to the dining room and were shown the menu calendar and my mom makes the comment about how she likes to make all her own meals. I, of course, tell her how nice it will be that she won't have to cook for herself. And it's not like we haven't been through all this before! So we sit down in the private dining room for our meal and we are left alone for a few moments so I ask her what she thinks - she says she doesn't like it - she wants to be able to go on her walks and make her own meals - I try to assure her that it will all be ok and to give it a chance. The meal was good and we have a nice chat with the Resident Director. We assure her that she can still go out for her walks - she just needs to sign in and out when she does - and that there are several people that walk - so she can see about walking with some of them. So we finish up lunch - pick up some paperwork and leave.
When we get to the car - I ask my mom her thoughts - and she makes another comment about not being able to cook her own meals - and all I could think was - putting a TV dinner in the microwave is NOT cooking your own meals - and then she indicated that she didn't think she needed as much care as this place was giving - as she is trying to wrap the seatbelt around her neck because she can't figure out how it works! God Bless Her! It just makes me laugh. So I told her that it would really make me feel better to know that she is in a place that has that kind of support. She seemed the most concerned about her walks - so we drove around the neighborhood so she could see that it was a nice neighborhood and she could walk around there - just what I want her doing - walking around a neighborhood she isn't familiar with!
So on the way home I worked on convincing her that it was the best thing for her - she talked about how she would adjust and how the place she is in has just gone downhill since they've taken the chairs out of the lobby so she and her friends can't sit there anymore. Of course, by tomorrow she may decide that she isn't going to move. At one point on the way home - she asked if John was going to move her - and I told her no - my friends and I were - then she asked "Should we tell him I'm moving?" Go Mom! I told her that it was up to her whether she wanted to tell him or not. So while we were talking, she told me about when my Aunt Jean was here they went to see John - and instead of meeting at John's house, they went to this park - which was good since Luke could run around. She had no recollection that I was there. God Bless Her!
Anyway - Family Fun Night went great tonight - we had a great crowd and the astronomy evening seemed to go well. And looking at the moon from the telescope they brought - VERY COOL! Enough for now - going to bed.
When we get to the car - I ask my mom her thoughts - and she makes another comment about not being able to cook her own meals - and all I could think was - putting a TV dinner in the microwave is NOT cooking your own meals - and then she indicated that she didn't think she needed as much care as this place was giving - as she is trying to wrap the seatbelt around her neck because she can't figure out how it works! God Bless Her! It just makes me laugh. So I told her that it would really make me feel better to know that she is in a place that has that kind of support. She seemed the most concerned about her walks - so we drove around the neighborhood so she could see that it was a nice neighborhood and she could walk around there - just what I want her doing - walking around a neighborhood she isn't familiar with!
So on the way home I worked on convincing her that it was the best thing for her - she talked about how she would adjust and how the place she is in has just gone downhill since they've taken the chairs out of the lobby so she and her friends can't sit there anymore. Of course, by tomorrow she may decide that she isn't going to move. At one point on the way home - she asked if John was going to move her - and I told her no - my friends and I were - then she asked "Should we tell him I'm moving?" Go Mom! I told her that it was up to her whether she wanted to tell him or not. So while we were talking, she told me about when my Aunt Jean was here they went to see John - and instead of meeting at John's house, they went to this park - which was good since Luke could run around. She had no recollection that I was there. God Bless Her!
Anyway - Family Fun Night went great tonight - we had a great crowd and the astronomy evening seemed to go well. And looking at the moon from the telescope they brought - VERY COOL! Enough for now - going to bed.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I Found It!
The place where I want to move my mom - well, not really want - am going to move my mom - I'll let her think she has a say - but this it... a little more about "it" in a moment - first for the backstory. Well, some of the backstory...
Back in June, I went looking for some places for my mom to live - had gotten some referrals and went to check some of them out - I actually blogged about it on June 30th if you would like to check out the archives. One of the places that I liked was in Fountain Valley. I prefered the larger facilities to the board and care homes for right now since my mom likes to be social and hang out with lots of people right now. Back in June - I wasn't sure how much we could afford since some funding I was hoping to get didn't quite pan out - ask me later if you would like the full story - I'd be more than happy to tell you about it. Anyway... I sat on the information until this last week - I kept telling everyone to start bugging me after the new year to get my act in gear and get my mom moved. Thanks everyone for checking on me - and B, thanks for calling on Monday night!
So I called the Fountain Valley place on Monday and left a message for the administrator - she called me back and we set up an appointment on Tuesday at 9:30am to look and go over some of the numbers. So I take off work on Tuesday morning, get to the place around 9:25am and she isn't there yet - that's fine - I'm early. So I sit and wait.... and wait... and wait. It did give me a chance to observe some activities that were going on with the residents. But when she still wasn't there at 9:50am, I was a bit frustrated (to put it nicely). So I walked up to find out what was going on - nobody seemed to know where she was - it didn't seem like anyone was making the effort to call her. So the manager started taking some information from me and then she had to leave - so they had another assistant finish the info and then showed me a room - I wasn't as happy with the room she showed me as I was with the ones that I had seen before - I just didn't get the same warm fuzzy feeling that I had before - but compared to some of the places I had investigated - this place was within our limited price range. So after looking at the room we are standing there and the assistant looks at me like I'm supposed to know what to do next. Which, of course, I don't - so I tell her that - "I'm new to this and I don't know what I'm doing" - I told her I wanted some pricing info, so she gave me a pricing sheet and I went on my not so merry little way. It just didn't go well - any of it. By the time I got back to work - the adminstrator I was supposed to meet with had left a message - "Sorry I missed you - go ahead and call me back..." Haven't called her back yet - although she did leave me another message today saying that she hoped my mom was ok because they told her I had an emergency with my mom and that's why I had to leave - not sure where they got that info from - like I said - none of it went well. But it did get me to call some of the other places on the list - so I guess there was a reason it all went so badly.
So on Tuesday night after a church meeting - I did a drive by of these two other places - one in Santa Ana and the other in Orange. Drove by Santa Ana first and thought - uhhh... no. Then I drove by the place in Orange - and it's down this residential street and I'm thinking - it's dark - will I be able to spot it - the Santa Ana place wasn't very well marked and I'm not sure what to look for with this place when - wham - there it was nice big well lit sign! So Wednesday I called and made an appointment for this morning.
So I got there and the woman was ready for me - she had a packet of information ready - and we started talking about what my mom would need and then started looking at the pricing info - when she pulled out the pricing sheet my heart sank - $1800 was the lowest price on there - I know we couldn't afford that. But that was for a private studio - I asked her if they had any shared rooms - she said they have Jack and Jill rooms (for those of you that don't know what they are - two rooms connected by a bathroom). And she has one downstairs for $1200 - I almost started to cry - she can have her own room and only pay $1200 for it (the other place was $1250 for a shared room - much like a hotel room). But it gets even better - not only does she get three meals a day - but medication monitoring is a included (it was a $200 add on at the other place). So she showed me the room - not huge - but my mom will be able to take more with her than "the other place". She showed me the facility and it just had a much more warm and fuzzy feeling to it - it was it. So I put a deposit on it to hold it for two weeks - which is refundable if we decide not to take it - which I can't imagine happening. I made an appointment for this Saturday to show my mom - and we will enjoy lunch up there - oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots and cream puffs! When we are there - they will also do an assessment of her to make sure that she doesn't need more care than I have said - that is my only concern - that they will decide the dementia is too advanced to put her in the indepent living area - but she really isn't ready for the more assisted living area. So if it all goes well on Saturday - I'm looking to move her the first part of February. I talked to her about it tonight and she said she is ready to move - especially since they have taken the chairs out of the lobby (yes, mom, I know). Of course, tomorrow she may decided that she doesn't want to move - but I think that once she sees this place she will like it - especially if she can have her own room!
A friend at work was telling me months ago when I was talking about moving my mom and trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it, that there had to be a diamond in the rough out there somewhere - this is definitely it! Thank you, Lord!
Back in June, I went looking for some places for my mom to live - had gotten some referrals and went to check some of them out - I actually blogged about it on June 30th if you would like to check out the archives. One of the places that I liked was in Fountain Valley. I prefered the larger facilities to the board and care homes for right now since my mom likes to be social and hang out with lots of people right now. Back in June - I wasn't sure how much we could afford since some funding I was hoping to get didn't quite pan out - ask me later if you would like the full story - I'd be more than happy to tell you about it. Anyway... I sat on the information until this last week - I kept telling everyone to start bugging me after the new year to get my act in gear and get my mom moved. Thanks everyone for checking on me - and B, thanks for calling on Monday night!
So I called the Fountain Valley place on Monday and left a message for the administrator - she called me back and we set up an appointment on Tuesday at 9:30am to look and go over some of the numbers. So I take off work on Tuesday morning, get to the place around 9:25am and she isn't there yet - that's fine - I'm early. So I sit and wait.... and wait... and wait. It did give me a chance to observe some activities that were going on with the residents. But when she still wasn't there at 9:50am, I was a bit frustrated (to put it nicely). So I walked up to find out what was going on - nobody seemed to know where she was - it didn't seem like anyone was making the effort to call her. So the manager started taking some information from me and then she had to leave - so they had another assistant finish the info and then showed me a room - I wasn't as happy with the room she showed me as I was with the ones that I had seen before - I just didn't get the same warm fuzzy feeling that I had before - but compared to some of the places I had investigated - this place was within our limited price range. So after looking at the room we are standing there and the assistant looks at me like I'm supposed to know what to do next. Which, of course, I don't - so I tell her that - "I'm new to this and I don't know what I'm doing" - I told her I wanted some pricing info, so she gave me a pricing sheet and I went on my not so merry little way. It just didn't go well - any of it. By the time I got back to work - the adminstrator I was supposed to meet with had left a message - "Sorry I missed you - go ahead and call me back..." Haven't called her back yet - although she did leave me another message today saying that she hoped my mom was ok because they told her I had an emergency with my mom and that's why I had to leave - not sure where they got that info from - like I said - none of it went well. But it did get me to call some of the other places on the list - so I guess there was a reason it all went so badly.
So on Tuesday night after a church meeting - I did a drive by of these two other places - one in Santa Ana and the other in Orange. Drove by Santa Ana first and thought - uhhh... no. Then I drove by the place in Orange - and it's down this residential street and I'm thinking - it's dark - will I be able to spot it - the Santa Ana place wasn't very well marked and I'm not sure what to look for with this place when - wham - there it was nice big well lit sign! So Wednesday I called and made an appointment for this morning.
So I got there and the woman was ready for me - she had a packet of information ready - and we started talking about what my mom would need and then started looking at the pricing info - when she pulled out the pricing sheet my heart sank - $1800 was the lowest price on there - I know we couldn't afford that. But that was for a private studio - I asked her if they had any shared rooms - she said they have Jack and Jill rooms (for those of you that don't know what they are - two rooms connected by a bathroom). And she has one downstairs for $1200 - I almost started to cry - she can have her own room and only pay $1200 for it (the other place was $1250 for a shared room - much like a hotel room). But it gets even better - not only does she get three meals a day - but medication monitoring is a included (it was a $200 add on at the other place). So she showed me the room - not huge - but my mom will be able to take more with her than "the other place". She showed me the facility and it just had a much more warm and fuzzy feeling to it - it was it. So I put a deposit on it to hold it for two weeks - which is refundable if we decide not to take it - which I can't imagine happening. I made an appointment for this Saturday to show my mom - and we will enjoy lunch up there - oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots and cream puffs! When we are there - they will also do an assessment of her to make sure that she doesn't need more care than I have said - that is my only concern - that they will decide the dementia is too advanced to put her in the indepent living area - but she really isn't ready for the more assisted living area. So if it all goes well on Saturday - I'm looking to move her the first part of February. I talked to her about it tonight and she said she is ready to move - especially since they have taken the chairs out of the lobby (yes, mom, I know). Of course, tomorrow she may decided that she doesn't want to move - but I think that once she sees this place she will like it - especially if she can have her own room!
A friend at work was telling me months ago when I was talking about moving my mom and trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it, that there had to be a diamond in the rough out there somewhere - this is definitely it! Thank you, Lord!
Monday, January 7, 2008
What Were You Thinking?
So I stopped by my mom's this morning - as has become habit to make sure she takes her medication - which she had today - yeah for her! And she is a bit upset - she lost her keys - AGAIN! She tells me they were downstairs and someone picked them up - can't exactly figure out what she is talking about - so I start thinking - well - she had to get back into her locked apartment so I asked her - very nicely... How were you able to get back into the apartment if it was locked - did the manager let you in? And she stops and starts thinking for a bit and tells me - I must not have locked it - at which point I want to say (but don't)...
Why did you bring your keys if you weren't going to lock your door?
What were you doing leaving your keys out where someone could take them?
What were you thinking?
Are you crazy? - God Help Me!
I looked and looked - and still think they must be somewhere in her apartment - but couldn't find them in all the usual spots - I know - she has Alzheimer's - I should look in all the unusual spots - but had to get to work. So I made an extra set after work and got a keychain that she can put around her wrist. She also had to let me know that she lost her laundry card - at least I found a couple more pads of checks - so she shouldn't be bugging me about those for a while! God Bless Her!
Why did you bring your keys if you weren't going to lock your door?
What were you doing leaving your keys out where someone could take them?
What were you thinking?
Are you crazy? - God Help Me!
I looked and looked - and still think they must be somewhere in her apartment - but couldn't find them in all the usual spots - I know - she has Alzheimer's - I should look in all the unusual spots - but had to get to work. So I made an extra set after work and got a keychain that she can put around her wrist. She also had to let me know that she lost her laundry card - at least I found a couple more pads of checks - so she shouldn't be bugging me about those for a while! God Bless Her!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Obessions
My aunt left today after visiting with my mom and I over New Year's and I cried after I dropped her off at the airport. She and my mom seemed to have such a nice visit - and I really enjoyed the visit also - even though I slept on the couch (and Brandy, you were right - the cat did sleep with me). We had such a good time the last several days - I was sad to see her leave. The only downside is the reminder of how my mom used to be - I want my mom back and this week, I'm really struggling with that.
I've had some time to really reflect on the year and count my blessings - and I certainly have many. I am tremendously blessed with an amazing group of friends that I know love and support me no matter what. But the year has been bittersweet also, as I've watched my mom slowly get worse. But even as bad as it gets - I know that the Lord is always watching over me (even when I have angry conversations with him - hey - at least I'm talking to him - right?!) and I know my friends will always be there for me - God bless all of you!
Enough melancholoy - I have to laugh a little - this posting is beginning to sound a little like those Christmas newsletters that you get from people that tell you about all of the diseases or loss of life or family problems they go through during the year - let me fix that by including a list...
A list of my mom's latest obessions:
The birds - you know they go one way in the morning and the other way at night
Checks - she only has one check left - and it's for the rent - it would help if she would put her checks in her checkbook correctly and not stuff all but one into the sleeve
Money - how can she buy any groceries if I don't give her any money - I told her I would give her money and I never did - shame on me - I'm so terrible won't order her checks either (she was surprised to see the $80 I found stashed in an envelope in her dresser)
Her tooth - actually this hasn't been much of an obsession - don't really hear about it much anymore - she has so many new obsessions to worry about!
One last story - her doctor signed a handicap placard application recently and she asked what the paper was and I told her it was the application and that I was getting a handicap placard for her and she says to me 'How long am I going to be handicapped?'! God Bless Her. And Happy New Year!
I've had some time to really reflect on the year and count my blessings - and I certainly have many. I am tremendously blessed with an amazing group of friends that I know love and support me no matter what. But the year has been bittersweet also, as I've watched my mom slowly get worse. But even as bad as it gets - I know that the Lord is always watching over me (even when I have angry conversations with him - hey - at least I'm talking to him - right?!) and I know my friends will always be there for me - God bless all of you!
Enough melancholoy - I have to laugh a little - this posting is beginning to sound a little like those Christmas newsletters that you get from people that tell you about all of the diseases or loss of life or family problems they go through during the year - let me fix that by including a list...
A list of my mom's latest obessions:
The birds - you know they go one way in the morning and the other way at night
Checks - she only has one check left - and it's for the rent - it would help if she would put her checks in her checkbook correctly and not stuff all but one into the sleeve
Money - how can she buy any groceries if I don't give her any money - I told her I would give her money and I never did - shame on me - I'm so terrible won't order her checks either (she was surprised to see the $80 I found stashed in an envelope in her dresser)
Her keys - she lost them one day and that was all she could talk about - of course the next day we were talking about making new keys and she says to my Aunt - 'You lost your keys?' - no mom, you lost yours - we found them
The chairs in the lobby - you know they took the chairs out of the lobby that she and her friends used to sit on and she just doesn't understand why (truthfully, I'm not sure either) - but she has remedied that by bringing her lawn chair down to the lobby to wait for the mail! Go Mom!Her tooth - actually this hasn't been much of an obsession - don't really hear about it much anymore - she has so many new obsessions to worry about!
One last story - her doctor signed a handicap placard application recently and she asked what the paper was and I told her it was the application and that I was getting a handicap placard for her and she says to me 'How long am I going to be handicapped?'! God Bless Her. And Happy New Year!
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