I Don't Want To Be The Parent

I'm struggling tonight. Had a nice dinner with my brother and his family and their friends. He picked up my mom and I took her home and I just struggled - the whole evening. I miss my mom. I know that sounds crazy - but I do - very much tonight. I just have such wonderful memories of the family getting together and the joy and fun... Not that we didn't have any fun - we did and we had some great laughs tonight - but I just miss talking to my mom the way we used to - I miss her being the mom - I don't want to be the parent.